The Wedding Planning Checklist: A Month-by-Month Roadmap

My mother still refers to my cousin Yasmin's wedding in Toronto as "the year of the second kitchen." She means the caterer had to build one from scratch in a parking garage because the venue's kitchen, as it turned out, could not produce enough tahdig for 320 people. That detail was not in any checklist Yasmin downloaded. It was also not in the venue contract. It surfaced six weeks out, when the head caterer came to do a walkthrough and turned to my aunt with an expression I've since seen on three other caterers' faces at three other weddings.

I've coordinated five of these now, on three continents, between my own family's Persian weddings and my husband's side (Punjabi Sikh, with a Western reception). I've also watched dozens more as a guest. What I can tell you is that every wedding planning checklist you find online is either too vague to be useful or written by someone who has never stood in a venue kitchen at 4pm asking where the rice cooker went. The one below is the one I actually give my friends when they call me, panicked, three days after getting engaged.

We'll work backwards from 15 months, which is the sweet spot for a mid-to-large wedding. If you have less time, you can compress this. If you have more time, do not start earlier than 15 months. I mean it. You will burn out.

Table of Contents

• Why 15 Months
• Months 15 to 13: The Foundation
• Month 12: The Commitment Phase
• Months 11 to 10: Core Vendors
• Month 9: The Dress and the Paperwork
• Months 8 to 7: Secondary Vendors
• Month 6: Save the Dates Out
• Months 5 to 4: Design and Detail
• Month 3: Invitations and Logistics
• Month 2: The Hard Month
• Month 1: The Calm Before
• Week of: The Last Seven Days
• Day of: Your Only Job
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Sources and Further Reading

Why 15 Months

Because 18 months is too long and 12 months is too short. At 18 months, most vendors will not even quote you. At 12 months, you will lose the top photographers, the best venues for your date, and any cultural vendor who is in demand (sofreh stylists, dhol players, Chinese tea ceremony caterers: all of them book out at least a year in advance).

Fifteen months gives you three months of conversations before you have to make any real commitments. That buffer is the single most useful thing in wedding planning. Use it.

Months 15 to 13: The Foundation

You are not booking anything yet. You are having conversations.

With your partner:

• What kind of wedding do you actually want? Small, large, traditional, cultural, religious, civil?
• Where, geographically? Near his family, your family, or a neutral city?
• How many events? Persian weddings often have a khastegari, a bale-boran, an aghd, an aroosi. Punjabi Sikh weddings have an anand karaj, plus sangeet and reception. A Western wedding is often one ceremony and one reception. Decide how many days you are signing up for.
• What is the non-negotiable? For me it was the sofreh aghd. For my husband it was his father giving a speech. Name your two or three, and then design around them.

With both sets of parents, separately:

• How much, if anything, are they contributing? Do not assume. My parents contributed a specific amount for the aghd only. My in-laws covered the sangeet. Reuben and I covered the Western reception. That structure only worked because we asked, specifically, in month 14.
• Who are the must-invites from their side? Get a number, not a list yet. You are trying to understand scale.
• What are their cultural expectations? My mother wanted a fully traditional sofreh. My mother-in-law wanted the groom's family to host the sangeet in their home, not at a venue. These are not requests you want to discover in month 6.

By the end of month 13 you should have:

• A rough guest count range (say, 180 to 240)
• A target month or season
• A ballpark budget
• A clear picture of how many distinct events you're planning
• One primary city or region

Do not book anything. Do not put down deposits. Do not sign contracts.

Month 12: The Commitment Phase

This is when you lock the big three: date, venue, officiant.

Date. Pick a weekend in your target month. If your culture requires astrological or religious consultation (Hindu weddings often do; Persian weddings sometimes), involve the relevant elder or priest now. For Western weddings, just pick a Saturday and move on.

Venue. Tour three to five venues. Bring a notebook. Ask about:

• Total capacity for your event style (seated vs. cocktail changes the number)
• Whether you can bring outside catering (critical for cultural weddings)
• Kitchen capacity (see: Yasmin's parking garage)
• Bar service and corkage
• Noise ordinances and end times
• Accessibility (stairs, elevators, bathroom layout)
• Parking or shuttle logistics
• What exactly is included in the rental fee

Put down a deposit only when you have read the full contract. Venues are the #1 source of surprise costs. I'll write a whole guide on venue vetting, but for now: do not sign anything same-day.

Officiant. If you're doing a religious ceremony, your officiant's availability drives your date. Book them before the venue if it's close. For Persian aghd, you need an aghonde or a secular officiant comfortable with the sofreh. For Sikh weddings, the gurdwara's granthi. For Chinese tea ceremonies, traditionally a senior family member, but some couples also hire a bilingual officiant for the Western portion.

Months 11 to 10: Core Vendors

Month 11: Photography and videography. The best wedding photographers in any city book out 12 to 15 months ahead. Cultural weddings need photographers who understand the choreography: when to be at the sofreh for the sugar cone moment, when to be at the jaymala exchange, when to stay out of the priest's sightline during the pheras. Ask specifically: "Have you shot a Persian aghd before? A Sikh anand karaj? Can I see full galleries, not just highlights?"

Book photographer and videographer by end of month 11. Expect to pay a 30 to 50 percent deposit.

Month 10: Catering. If your venue requires in-house catering, skip to booking. If not, get quotes from three caterers. For cultural weddings, this is where you shop hard. A caterer who can do Persian food at 200-person scale is a specialist. Same for Chinese banquet, Indian thali, Sri Lankan wedding feast. You want someone who has done it at your scale, recently.

Ask for:

• Per-person cost, fully loaded (food, service staff, rentals, gratuity, tax)
• Tasting schedule
• Menu flexibility for dietary restrictions
• Bar service (if they're providing it)
• Kitchen requirements at your venue (see above)

Book caterer by end of month 10. Deposit usually 25 to 50 percent.

Month 9: The Dress and the Paperwork

Dress. Wedding dresses with customization take 6 to 9 months to make and alter. If you're having a traditional outfit as well (lehenga, qipao, Persian sofreh gown), add another 2 to 4 months because those are often couture or imported.

I ordered my Western dress at month 9 and my aghd gown (a champagne silk piece with hand embroidery from a tailor in Vancouver's Persian community) at month 11. Both arrived with weeks to spare. Barely.

Paperwork. This is unglamorous and essential.

• Marriage license requirements in your jurisdiction. Some places require 30 days between license and ceremony. Some require blood tests. Some require both parties present. Check your specific city.
• If one of you is on a visa or has immigration implications, talk to a lawyer now. A wedding does not automatically change status, and some ceremonies are not recognized as legal marriages in every country. My aunt's aghd in Iran was not recognized in Canada without a civil ceremony.
• Prenup, if you're having one. The conversation should happen now, not at month 3.

Months 8 to 7: Secondary Vendors

Month 8:

• Florist
• DJ or band
• Hair and makeup (book both your trial and your day-of)
• Dance instructor if you're doing a first dance or cultural choreography

For cultural weddings, add:

• Sofreh stylist (for Persian weddings), if you're not building it yourself
• Mandap decorator (for Hindu weddings)
• Henna artist, booked for the mehndi night

Month 7:

• Stationer (save the dates, invitations, day-of printing)
• Rentals (if not covered by caterer or venue): tables, chairs, linens, glassware, specialty items like a dholki or tea ceremony set
• Transportation for wedding party and, if needed, guests

Month 6: Save the Dates Out

Send save the dates. For local weddings, six months is fine. For destination, send at eight months. Include:

• Date
• City (not necessarily venue yet)
• Your website link
• A note if it's a multi-day event

Do not include registry information. Save that for invitations or the website.

Build a wedding website if you haven't. This is where RSVP'd or your platform of choice starts earning its keep. A good website handles:

• Event schedule (critical for multi-day cultural weddings)
• Dress code per event (sangeet is different from reception)
• Travel and accommodation info
• FAQs (our most-asked was "what is a sofreh aghd")
• RSVP collection

Months 5 to 4: Design and Detail

Month 5:

• Finalize menu with caterer after tasting
• First dress fitting
• Order bridesmaid dresses (they need 3+ months lead time)
• Finalize photography shot list
• Book any remaining vendors (officiant backup, videographer assistant, etc.)

Month 4:

• Order rings if custom
• Finalize cake or dessert design
• Pick ceremony music (processional, recessional, any cultural-specific songs, like the aroos song for the bride's entrance in Persian weddings)
• Decide on favors (or decide against them: most go in the trash)

Month 3: Invitations and Logistics

Send invitations. Eight to ten weeks out for local, twelve weeks for destination. Set RSVP deadline at six weeks out (this gives you two weeks to chase the late responders, which you will have, trust me).

Book:

• Hotel blocks, if you haven't
• Rehearsal dinner or welcome event
• Brunch the morning after, if doing one
• Honeymoon, or at least the first few days after if you're taking any time off

Month 2: The Hard Month

This is when things get real and everything you forgot about surfaces at once.

Week by week:

Week 8:

• Final venue walkthrough with caterer
• Final headcount draft (you'll revise again at week 4)
• Second dress fitting
• Order welcome bags if doing them

Week 7:

• Meet with photographer to walk through shot list
• Finalize ceremony order with officiant
• Write vows (yes, now, not the night before)
• Confirm hair and makeup trial

Week 6:

• Build the day-of timeline. Every vendor, every hand-off, every setup window, every buffer. This is the document that will save your wedding.
• RSVP deadline hits. Start chasing.

Week 5:

• Finalize seating chart. This is the worst part of planning. There is no way around it.
• Pick up rings
• Finalize ceremony programs or printed materials

Month 1: The Calm Before

Most of the work is done. This month is confirmations and contingencies.

• Confirm arrival times, setup times, and point of contact with every vendor. Put it in writing.
• Finalize headcount with caterer (usually due 7 to 14 days out)
• Final dress fitting
• Marriage license pickup (most jurisdictions require this within 30 days of ceremony)
• Break in your shoes. Really.
• Write thank-you notes for early gifts
• Pack for the wedding night and honeymoon

Build your emergency kit. Mine included: safety pins, double-sided tape, stain remover, Advil, tampons, bobby pins, a sewing kit, clear nail polish (for stocking runs), blister pads, a phone charger, my mother's number on a card in case my phone died, and, inexplicably, a spoon. I never used the spoon. I always bring one.

Week of: The Last Seven Days

The most useful thing I can tell you about this week is: do less than you think.

• Monday: final vendor confirmations, printed timeline distributed
• Tuesday: rehearsal dinner setup confirmed, welcome bags delivered to hotel
• Wednesday: hair and makeup confirmation, any beauty appointments
• Thursday: rehearsal dinner or welcome night
• Friday: ceremony rehearsal, family dinner, go to bed early
• Saturday: the wedding

Delegate a point person for each category: family, vendors, logistics, emergencies. Do not be the point person for anything on the day. This is where day-of coordinators earn their fee, and where a good planning platform plus a responsible bridesmaid can, honestly, replace them for many couples. I'll write about that trade-off specifically in a later piece.

Day of: Your Only Job

Eat breakfast. Drink water. Do not look at your phone. Let people hand you things. Let people tell you where to go. Look at your partner during the ceremony, actually look at them, and remember that this is the part you will remember.

Everything else is someone else's problem for the next twelve hours. If you've done the 15 months of work above, you have earned the right to stop thinking.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources and Further Reading

• The Knot's 2025 Real Weddings Study (budget benchmarks by region and culture)
• Statistics Canada's marriage data 2023-2024
• "The Persian Wedding" by the Encyclopedia Iranica (historical context for aghd traditions)
• "A Punjabi Wedding" by the Sikh Research Institute (anand karaj ceremony structure)
• WeddingWire Cost of Wedding Report 2025 (vendor pricing benchmarks)
• The author's own family weddings in Tehran, Toronto, Vancouver, Mumbai, and Seattle between 2014 and 2024